Posts Tagged ‘ Obesity ’

Atkins Nutritionals Wins Bidding War for King Samir Shabazz

July 9, 2010
By
King Shamir Shabazz

Atkins Nutritionals proudly announced today that it has successfully signed King Shamir Shabazz as it’s new spokesperson, winning the much publicized and very heated bidding war with the South Beach Diet Partnership. Currently serving as the head of the Philadelphia chapter of the New Black Panther Party, Shamir is famous for his vehement hatred...

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Michelle Obama Undertakes Bold Campaign Against Obesity, Encounters Uphill Battle

February 9, 2010
By
You're going to eat your vegetables, asshole.

Michelle Obama is actively trying to convince Americans to get a handle on overweight children, but remains unable to wrap her arms around her husband’s overblown ego. “It is very trying,” the First Lady tells Knifework News. “His obese psyche is really getting out of control. I have tried to put Barack on a...

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