Tragedy struck the White House Thursday when Che, the goldfish of President Obama’s daughter Sasha, was reportedly found floating on its side at the top of it’s bowl by Secret Service during a routine security sweep. The official story from the White House is that Che perished from an untreated case of Chilodonella. Dr....
Facing difficulties retaining qualified personnel for his economic team, President Barack Hussein Obama today declared he was taking personal control over all economic decisions emanating from the White House. “As I have stated before, Islam has always been part of America and American Muslims have made extraordinary contributions to our country. However it is...
Obama recently announced a new piece of legislation, that will force organizations such as Merriam-Webster and Dictionary.com to comply with strict regulations, as mandated by the federal government. The bill is expected to go into effect by the end of next week. President Obama held a press conference, detailing this new piece of legislation. “It has...
Dear Amy, I’m writing to you on the recommendation of a friend. After doing a little research and discovering you weren’t Jewish, I decided to take her advice. I was ambushed a couple of weeks ago by an evil rabbi who asked me what I thought of the Israel / Palestine conflict. I told...
Dear Amy, I work hard in what can only be described as a thankless job.. or is it thinkless? Well, either way, nobody ever gives me the respect I deserve! Acting as the liaison between POTUS and the media might sound glamorous, but I’m here to tell you – it stinks! Reporters ask me...
Knifework.net was present today at the Board of Directors meeting for D.E.A.T.H (Dick’s Energy and Arms Trade Holdings) where the results of its recent “Operation Spring Awakening” were discussed. A massive plan involving the use of its chairperson Dick Cheney’s diving and detonation skills, propaganda, and strategic short selling via its securities division, Spring...
It is with great pride in the efforts of the Obama Administration to right-size American sovereignty that we at Knifework forward to you our translation of the following memorandum: Statement by the Embassy of Mexico Washington D.C, May 25th, 2010 Regarding the Administration’s decision to send 1,200 National Guard servicemen to the US Southern...
Risking raids on our homes and offices (alright, it’s the same thing), knifework.net has been able to get our hands on the brand new portable device set to take the world by storm. We are talking, of course, about the iSlam. Sporting a sleek, compact design the iSlam fits easily in any Taliban-issue suicide...
Today Hasbro unveiled it’s latest children’s board game, Steele Trap. It’s a fun and frolicking political romp that is sure to entertain children ages 8-13 as they learn about the crazy world of United States politics. Steele Trap has the players compete to see who can fill up their bus with voters first and...
President Barack Obama admitted belief in the free market last week, drawing a fierce response from free market deniers. “The science is settled on this!” screamed EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson, clarifying the President’s statement. Taking a moment to collect herself , she admitted, “Alright, a consensus of scientists does now believe that a free market...
Fighting hard against stagnation in the Federal budget deficit, President Obama has commissioned a blue-ribbon panel to recommend ways a commission could study some recommendations for raising taxes. “Let me be clear: this commission I’m commissioning is not about me,” Mr. Obama said, surprising the audience with his candor. “I take no joy in...
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