Tragedy struck the White House Thursday when Che, the goldfish of President Obama’s daughter Sasha, was reportedly found floating on its side at the top of it’s bowl by Secret Service during a routine security sweep. The official story from the White House is that Che perished from an untreated case of Chilodonella. Dr....
Progressive rule has been, by all White House accounts, a resounding success. Despite this, Democrats are bracing for a very unforgiving election this November. How can this be, many in the party are asking themselves. The answer is simple. They just can not shake the stigma that the left is made up predominantly of...
In a shocking speech this afternoon, President Barack Obama announced that his stance on illegal immigration and the status of non-citizens in this country had reversed and “that he had no idea what he was thinking before.” According to his statement the following changes by the Federal Government take effect immediately: Formation of a...
In an age where we feel the need to classify everyone and everything, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is refreshingly different. Thurgood Marshall was the first black Supreme Court Justice. Clarence Thomas was the second, although he doesn’t really count since he was nominated by a Republican. Sonia Sotomayor was the first wise Latina...
Following his death this morning, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) released a statement assuring his constituents that he would continue to work on their behalf from beyond the grave. “Not even the Grim Reaper will keep me from funneling billions in federal tax dollars to my home state,” the respected former Klan member wrote in blood on...
Knifework.net learned today from it’s exclusive Hollywood contacts that President Obama has ordered last minute changes to the remake of the 80′s classic “The Karate Kid”. The original movie features the story of a young boy who through sacrifice, hard work, humility and knowledge overcomes not only his tormentors but his own fear. Once...
Hordes of disgruntled Americans took to the streets yesterday, participating in Tea Party rallies across the nation. The aftermath has left progressives scratching their heads. “I just don’t get it,” mumbled political science professor Jim Hendrickson as he paced around his current place of employment, Starbucks. “Why did the Tea Party rallies get so...
After days of being unfairly battered and maligned about comments he was tricked into saying by racist Tea Party terrorists, Rep. Phil Hare* of Illinois has gone on the offensive, lashing out at his detractors and putting his words back into context. “Look,” said a visibly shaken Hare. “I was nervous. I was...
Capping off his year long campaign against the United States of America, our great leader has finally seized his prize: America’s vast, untapped oil deposits. As most of his followers rejoice, there remain pockets of resistance. These fringe groups are undeniably made up largely of racists and homophobes. “I thought Obama was an environmentalist!,” shrieked Greenpeace director, Phil...
In a stunning new study released today by the University of Ottawa, researches claim they have found a link between countries that have socialized medicine and debilitating retardation. “We are not sure yet just what aspect of universal health coverage causes retardation,” said provost Francois Houle. “But we think it has something to do with...
The left is climaxing over Sarah Palin writing a few crib notes on her hand. They have finally found the evidence they need to convince America that a woman is too stupid to be President. I won’t go so far as to claim that they are stupid, but women do have a lot of...
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