Posts Tagged ‘ Capitalism ’

Obama Declares Jihad on Economy

September 3, 2010
By
Barack-Obama-Jihad

Facing difficulties retaining qualified personnel for his economic team, President Barack Hussein Obama today declared he was taking personal control over all economic decisions emanating from the White House. “As I have stated before, Islam has always been part of America and American Muslims have made extraordinary contributions to our country. However it is...

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Atkins Nutritionals Wins Bidding War for King Samir Shabazz

July 9, 2010
By
King Shamir Shabazz

Atkins Nutritionals proudly announced today that it has successfully signed King Shamir Shabazz as it’s new spokesperson, winning the much publicized and very heated bidding war with the South Beach Diet Partnership. Currently serving as the head of the Philadelphia chapter of the New Black Panther Party, Shamir is famous for his vehement hatred...

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Joe Biden Stranded in Haiti

March 9, 2010
By
Joe Biden-thumb-425x307

Minutes after giving a speech in Port-Au-Prince titled “Free Markets for Free Countries: Why Government Intervention Hurts Rather Than Helps,” Joe Biden found himself stranded in Haiti, a man without a country. The White House refused to comment on the speech, but an unnamed source called the speech “The last straw.” Reportedly, senior officials were not...

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President Obama: A Man Who Believes in Capitalism

February 28, 2010
By
Secret of the Ooze

President Barack Obama admitted belief in the free market last week, drawing a fierce response from free market deniers. “The science is settled on this!” screamed  EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson, clarifying the President’s statement. Taking a moment to collect herself , she admitted,  “Alright, a consensus of scientists does now believe that a free market...

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