<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Political Humor</title>
	<atom:link href="http://knifework.net/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://knifework.net</link>
	<description>Political Humor and Satire From a Conservative Perspective</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Sun, 25 Dec 2011 23:32:22 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Obama Still Refusing To Release Death Photo</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2011/05/obama-refusing-release-death-photo/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2011/05/obama-refusing-release-death-photo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 May 2011 15:55:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Comrade Scott</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Donald Trump]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goldfish]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthcare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Liberal Hypocrisy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PETA]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[War on Terror]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1458</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tragedy struck the White House Thursday when Che, the goldfish of President Obama&#8217;s daughter Sasha, was reportedly found floating on its side at the top of it&#8217;s bowl by Secret Service during a routine security sweep. The official story from the White House is that Che perished from an untreated case of Chilodonella.  Dr. Ezekiel Emanual, resident White House veterinarian stated that Che was denied care for his disease because he had already fulfilled the maximum happiness quotient he could provide calculated via the CLSFP, or Complete Lives System For Pets. Dr. Emanual went further and said that Che would been euthanized in the next two months anyway, since in his old age all he did was &#8220;just float there&#8221;. Conspiracy theorists on the internet have been slow to accept this story since rumors have long been running rampant that rogue Secret Service agents exist within the White House protection team. Adding fuel to the fire was a tweet from one @WHprotectiondude53 which stated &#8220;Just shot Rosebud&#8217;s fish, he jumped right out at me.&#8221; Although screenshots of the tweet exist, the account was closed shortly afterward. The conspiracy theorists, who have been deemed &#8220;Fishers&#8221; by the media, are demanding that [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2011/05/obama-refusing-release-death-photo/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>President Obama Present at Bin Laden Meeting</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2011/05/obama-present-bin-laden/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2011/05/obama-present-bin-laden/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 May 2011 21:34:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Loren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1454</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sources tell Knifework News that President Obama was physically present in the room when he and administration staff watched the SEAL team perform the assault on the compound holding Osama Bin Laden. Staff minimized the risk to the nation having Obama present, saying he was often located in a particular place at a certain point in time. Physically Present in the Room Boldly seated in the situation room, President Obama exercised decisive leadership in being in the same room when the order was given to kill Osama bin Laden. &#8220;When the order came down from [known militarist Leon] Panetta,&#8221; aides said of Obama, &#8220;he was just amazing, sitting there quietly in his chair. His ability to just be there is truly is inspirational.&#8221; None are more physically accounted for than Obama, who as President lives in the White House, and gets his postal mail delivered there. Everyone Noticed Him In what high-ranking members of the media have called a &#8220;gutsy move&#8220;, the President occupied his chair almost from the beginning of the meeting. &#8220;We all knew who he was, and it was made even more clear when he started saying quietly, in that statesmanlike way of his, &#8216;I am the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2011/05/obama-present-bin-laden/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Bakeries to Change Slice Procedures</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2011/03/bakeries-change-slice-procedures/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2011/03/bakeries-change-slice-procedures/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 29 Mar 2011 21:21:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Loren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[food]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[illinois]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michelle Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[safety]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1446</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[With increased price pressure, bakeries in Illinois have begun shipping lighter and lighter loaves. Some have altered their procedures for slicing loaves of bread, even eliminating the expensive and hazardous slicing procedure altogether. &#8220;The size of loaves has become too small to slice,&#8221; said Hugh G. Grist, production manager at Mercury Food Products, a bakery and compact fluorescent light bulb factory in Samsonite, Illinois. &#8220;It&#8217;s a safety issue, really.&#8221; The move toward smaller and smaller product sizes has followed a trend seen across multiple industries.  A gallon of milk sold at many convenience stores still sells for the same price it did before the massive spending increases and inflationary policies of the Obama administration, but that gallon may or may not contain any actual dairy products. The unsliced bread startles some consumers, who seem not to understand how to use the product.  &#8220;How do I know what side to butter when there&#8217;s no side?&#8221; asked one disgruntled housewife.  &#8220;It&#8217;s all crust,&#8221; complained another, showing her bandaged fingers. &#8220;I&#8217;ve lost two nails and part of my pinkie trying to get to the actual bread.&#8221; Fortunately, consumers have an ally in Washington.  Michelle Obama has undertaken a new effort to educate the [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2011/03/bakeries-change-slice-procedures/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Nobel Committee to Strip Obama of Prize</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2011/03/nobel-committee-strip-obama-prize/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2011/03/nobel-committee-strip-obama-prize/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Mar 2011 22:14:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Loren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1439</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oslo (KW) &#8211; The Nobel Prize Committee of Five has announced that it is requesting the return of the Peace Prize it awarded US President Barack Obama in 2009.  The committee made the rare decision based on what it called &#8220;atrocious and grievous violations&#8221; involved in tournament selections. &#8220;We just thought it showed a poor commitment to social justice to pick four number one seeds,&#8221; said a committee spokesman. &#8220;And then when Kansas lost, it showed what a disaster it was to have the name Nobel associated with this loser.&#8221; The Nobel committee has generally stayed out of the NCAA tournament selection decisions, for fear of injecting politics into its Peace Prize selection process.  &#8220;Our integrity is very important to us, so we want to avoid even the appearance of favoritism in the selection process.  But these picks, and the clearly elitist process of class violence inherent in picking only the favorites gave us no choice but to intervene.&#8221; Sources inside the committee said they were reluctant to actually strip the prize until all of the number one seeds actually lost. &#8220;If he had been right, that would have been one thing.  But to make such cowardly calls and be [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2011/03/nobel-committee-strip-obama-prize/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dick Blumenthal (D-CT) Correct on a Resume Item</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2011/02/dick-blumenthal-dct-correct-resume-item/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2011/02/dick-blumenthal-dct-correct-resume-item/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Feb 2011 22:03:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Loren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Opinion]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1402</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[U.S. Senator from Connecticut Dick Blumenthal has been found to be correct in citing an item of his work history. It turns out that Blumenthal actually is a member of the Senate, as he has been telling reporters since being sworn in last month. Blumenthal has long been rumored to have been accurate on other items of his resume, but this is the clearest confirmation to date. Blumenthal aides, speaking on condition of not having their name linked to Blumenthal, noted that the Senator is often correct about his resume.  &#8220;He gets it right over half the time,&#8221; estimated one staffer.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2011/02/dick-blumenthal-dct-correct-resume-item/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Implant Allows Volunteers to Speak Directly With God</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2010/11/implant-volunteers-speak-god/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2010/11/implant-volunteers-speak-god/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Nov 2010 19:18:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Loren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1422</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Engineers working at the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA) have developed specialized implants to allow spiritual communication for those engaged in jihad against the United States and the West.  Sources close to the agency indicate the implants could finally allow us to get inside the heads of enemy forces on the battlefield, helping to end the worldwide conflict with radical Islam more quickly than previously thought possible. The implants are specifically designed to be injected into the forehead. When properly installed, an implant will allow any jihad-inspired terrorist to speak to God directly at any time. As the products come in various sizes, from 4 to 13 millimeters, the appropriate implant size will be selected by a well-trained and highly skilled technician, who will also perform the injection of the device beneath the skin. No Anesthetic is required. The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches, nausea, aches and pains are extremely temporary. Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site. In most cases, you won&#8217;t even notice it. Please enjoy the security we provide for you. Best regards, (This is making the rounds, so to speak, though we here at Knifework did [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2010/11/implant-volunteers-speak-god/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Obama Administration Announces National Service Guidelines</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2010/11/obama-administration-announces-ational-service-guidelines/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2010/11/obama-administration-announces-ational-service-guidelines/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 17 Nov 2010 03:01:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Loren</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1403</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In response to public interest in the TSA&#8217;s latest screening procedures, the Obama Administration has announced that henceforth all adults aged 3 to 31 will spend a year in a new National Service Corps. The announcement came at a joint press conference which featured an &#8220;all hands on deck&#8221; segment led by  President Barack Obama  and Secretary of Homeland Security Janet Napolitano. Under the NSC proposal, which Napolitano characterized as &#8220;final, but open to review if mobs form&#8221;, young adults would be able to decide among a variety of forms for their compulsory National Service. &#8220;Under my plan,&#8221; said the President, &#8220;young adults would be free to shop the National Service Exchanges. They could decide on their own,&#8221; the President continued, &#8220;between a year of intense Sex Education and  a year with the TSA.&#8221; &#8220;We want to offer a choice,&#8221; stressed Napolitano. &#8220;The Sex Education classes have long been one of the many service measures,&#8221; said Napolitano, &#8220;used by the U.S. and countries across the world to make government officials as well served as possible. They&#8217;re conducted by same-gender teachers, and all students have the right to request private sessions and have a student companion present during the sessions.&#8221; Some [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2010/11/obama-administration-announces-ational-service-guidelines/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>DNC Unveils New Logo: Party Members Overcome with Excitement</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2010/09/dnc-unveils-logo-party-members-overcome-excitement/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2010/09/dnc-unveils-logo-party-members-overcome-excitement/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Sep 2010 17:35:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>amclimer</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Coffee Party]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Desperation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[DNC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Michael Steele]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[RNC]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1395</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[  &#8220;There&#8217;s a D &#8211; with a circle around it!&#8221; Yesterday, Democrats across the nation waited breathlessly for the DNC to reveal what was promised to be a revolutionary change – one that would bring about a renewed sense of excitement not felt since the days leading up to the 2008 election.  They would not be left disappointed.  Much to the delight of the entire Democratic Party, the DNC revealed a brand new logo – a move that is sure to motivate Democrats like never before! Maurice Smithson, of Buffalo, NY – and head of the local area Coffee Party – had this to say about the unprecedented change:  “When we first heard that the DNC had a major announcement planned, we knew it would be game changing, but never in our wildest dreams did we think it would be something so epic as a new logo!  This is just the push we needed to get our party back on track.  As soon as I heard the news, I immediately began making phone calls to people who had recently become disenchanted with party leaders. It was unanimous- every single person I spoke with said this new logo has restored their [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2010/09/dnc-unveils-logo-party-members-overcome-excitement/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>3</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Obama Declares Jihad on Economy</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2010/09/obama-declares-jihad-economy/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2010/09/obama-declares-jihad-economy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 03 Sep 2010 17:28:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Comrade Scott</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Capitalism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Economy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Islam]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spending]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1381</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Facing difficulties retaining qualified personnel for his economic team, President Barack Hussein Obama today declared he was taking personal control over all economic decisions emanating from the White House. &#8220;As I have stated before, Islam has always been part of America and American Muslims have made extraordinary contributions to our country. However it is my belief that we have not made proper use of the financial beliefs of Islam in dealing with our current economic crisis. Although I am not a Muslim, I can proudly say that today I am declaring Jihad on this crippled economy that I inherited.&#8221; said President Obama in a speech from the White House Rose Garden. President Obama said that the provisions of Executive Order 13528 should provide a &#8220;firm and vigorous boost&#8221; to the US economy nearly immediately.  &#8221;The spirit of Islamic finance is to promote social justice by banning exploitative practices, something I have always striven to achieve. Effective immediately it is now illegal to collect interest in the United States, invest in the stocks of any so-called &#8220;public&#8221; corporations, or produce pornography or pork products. Islam is a belief that’s based on submission, dedication and humbleness, instead of the evil motive of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2010/09/obama-declares-jihad-economy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Poll: Most Americans Hope Hurricane Earl Slams into Washington DC</title>
		<link>http://knifework.net/2010/08/poll-americans-hope-hurricane-earl-slams-washington-dc/</link>
		<comments>http://knifework.net/2010/08/poll-americans-hope-hurricane-earl-slams-washington-dc/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 31 Aug 2010 20:59:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Don Myers</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News(?)]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hurricane Earl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PANIC!]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Washington DC]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://knifework.net/?p=1376</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Anger among average Americans is rearing its ugly head in many ways with a new CBS Poll being the latest example. Based on a sampling of 300,000,000 Americans, 85% answered &#8220;YES&#8221; when asked if they would like Hurricane Earl to hit the Capitol Building and The White House. Congressional members expressed “shock and dismay” at the results with Nancy Pelosi saying, “We have to investigate these people.” John McCain called the Poll “a personal insult that demonstrates a disturbing lack of respect from the friends we rule….I mean represent!” President Obama was overheard telling an aid, “Hey I’m not afraid of Earl…bring him on! I’ll kiss…oops, I mean, kick his ass. It’ll be my number one priority!&#8221; Although latest weather models remain inconclusive, it is estimated that the storm may indeed reach much of the East Coast and in some cities authorities are already moving buses to locations where they are guaranteed to be underwater and useless.]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://knifework.net/2010/08/poll-americans-hope-hurricane-earl-slams-washington-dc/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>

