Conservative News and other Politically charged posts, articles and rants.
Risking raids on our homes and offices (alright, it’s the same thing), knifework.net has been able to get our hands on the brand new portable device set to take the world by storm. We are talking, of course, about the iSlam. Sporting a sleek, compact design the iSlam fits easily in any Taliban-issue suicide...
Today President Obama signed the $867 billion dollar Maritime Shipping Stabilization Act of 2010, a package of direct currency infusion, low-interest loans, infrastructure building, and military aid. Drafted and introduced in the House one month ago by Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA), the bill is designed to improve the living conditions of the Somali fisherman who have had to...
Today Hasbro unveiled it’s latest children’s board game, Steele Trap. It’s a fun and frolicking political romp that is sure to entertain children ages 8-13 as they learn about the crazy world of United States politics. Steele Trap has the players compete to see who can fill up their bus with voters first and...
With the recent retirement of Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens, speculation has been rampant as to who President Obama will nominate as his successor. Knifework.net has been lucky enough to glean information from insiders in the Obama administration and elsewhere and has prepared a list of those who appear to be the leading...
Hordes of disgruntled Americans took to the streets yesterday, participating in Tea Party rallies across the nation. The aftermath has left progressives scratching their heads. “I just don’t get it,” mumbled political science professor Jim Hendrickson as he paced around his current place of employment, Starbucks. “Why did the Tea Party rallies get so...
Just after the announcement of the TLC channel’s new eight-part miniseries called “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, MSNBC today said it will air a similar series highlighting the wonderful aspects of life in Barack Obama’s home country of Kenya. The twenty-part miniseries will be produced by Michael Moore and each episode will be preceded with a...
Ticker tape, confetti and balloons irrevocably damaged the environment today as celebratory parades were held around to the world to honor U.S. President and baseball enthusiast Barack Obama. Mr. Obama has succeeded where all other non-deities have failed. He has achieved World Peace. Perhaps the only thing more astonishing than this grand accomplishment is the simplicity...
After days of being unfairly battered and maligned about comments he was tricked into saying by racist Tea Party terrorists, Rep. Phil Hare* of Illinois has gone on the offensive, lashing out at his detractors and putting his words back into context. “Look,” said a visibly shaken Hare. “I was nervous. I was...
Capping off his year long campaign against the United States of America, our great leader has finally seized his prize: America’s vast, untapped oil deposits. As most of his followers rejoice, there remain pockets of resistance. These fringe groups are undeniably made up largely of racists and homophobes. “I thought Obama was an environmentalist!,” shrieked Greenpeace director, Phil...
Much ado has been made over the RNC and Michael Steele spending thousands on limos, jets and strip clubs. But little has been said about the DNC’s expenditures. In an ongoing effort to provide grossly unfair and chemically imbalanced coverage, Knifework.net decided to look at the other side’s books. And what we found was frightening. $7,000 was...
Vice President and sometimes pretend Sheriff Joe Biden’s motorcade was involved in yet another accident today, bringing the total number of accidents his motorcade has been in to somewhere around 23. 14 people sustained various injuries, though their names were not released as they are liberals and no one cares. Biden was thought to have...
In a stunning new study released today by the University of Ottawa, researches claim they have found a link between countries that have socialized medicine and debilitating retardation. “We are not sure yet just what aspect of universal health coverage causes retardation,” said provost Francois Houle. “But we think it has something to do with...
In the wake of many contentious statements after the passage of comprehensive health care reform, especially those concerning the mandate that Americans be forced to purchase health insurance and a spate of lawsuits from state officials nationwide, knifework.net consulted renowned legal scholar Dr. Rana Twedle of Naples Community College in Naples, FL (Go Fightin’ Manatees!) to...
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