News(?) Archive

  • Barack-Obama-Jihad

    Obama Declares Jihad on Economy

    Facing difficulties retaining qualified personnel for his economic team, President Barack Hussein Obama today declared he was taking personal control over all economic decisions emanating from the White House. “As I have stated before, Islam has always been part of America and American Muslims have...

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  • Hurrican Earl Slams DC

    Poll: Most Americans Hope Hurricane Earl Slams into Washington DC

    Anger among average Americans is rearing its ugly head in many ways with a new CBS Poll being the latest example. Based on a sampling of 300,000,000 Americans, 85% answered “YES” when asked if they would like Hurricane Earl to hit the Capitol Building and...

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  • EPA Offers Compromise Regulations on Everything

    In what is seen as a compromise with hard-line Republicans in Congress, the EPA has backed away from its plans to regulate all forms of matter.  While still holding true to Obama Administration policy of regulating everything in existence, the agency will promulgate regulations on...

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  • Something witty goes in this space.

    KNIFEWORK.NET IS HIRING!*

    Are you a political nerd with a sense of humor that has way too much time on his or her hands and just so happens to be starved for attention and fame and thinks that you might find either writing for this website? Are you...

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  • MAO is always determined to be the bigger person

    Michelle “Antoinette” Obama Sets Frantic Vacation, Campaign Schedule

    Democrats are planning to give First Lady Michelle “Antoinette” Obama a plus-sized role in the fall campaign season. After sitting in on a European vacation seminar in Spain, First Lady Michelle “Antoinette” Obama will return to America to lead by example in the vital area...

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  • Obama relieved after clearing himself of all wrongdoing.

    PRESS RELEASE: Obama Administration clears itself of wrongdoing(s)

    THE WHITE HOUSE Office of the Press Secretary _________________________________________________ FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Sunday , July 25, 2010, 10:35 pm Obama Administration clears itself of wrongdoing(s) President Obama today announces the results of multiple internal investigations being conducted by the White House. The President is pleased...

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  • Guard your orifices

    EXPOSED: Democrats are the Party of Rapism

    Progressive rule has been, by all White House accounts, a resounding success. Despite this, Democrats are bracing for a very unforgiving election this November. How can this be, many in the party are asking themselves. The answer is simple. They just can not shake the...

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  • King Shamir Shabazz

    Atkins Nutritionals Wins Bidding War for King Samir Shabazz

    Atkins Nutritionals proudly announced today that it has successfully signed King Shamir Shabazz as it’s new spokesperson, winning the much publicized and very heated bidding war with the South Beach Diet Partnership. Currently serving as the head of the Philadelphia chapter of the New Black...

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  • illegalaliens

    Obama Reverses Stance on Illegal Aliens

    In a shocking speech this afternoon, President Barack Obama announced that his stance on illegal immigration and the status of non-citizens in this country had reversed and “that he had no idea what he was thinking before.” According to his statement the following changes by...

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  • Organeaters For America

    Organeaters For America, the undead outreach effort of the Obama regime, has begun tagging its herd for the November elections. “With the loss of the independent vote, we will need lots of fresh blood,” said OFA spokesperson Andy Dote, referring to the frantic rush of...

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  • Why Elena Kagan is a great Supreme Court nominee

    Elena Kagan: A Breath of Fresh Air

    In an age where we feel the need to classify everyone and everything, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is refreshingly different. Thurgood Marshall was the first black Supreme Court Justice. Clarence Thomas was the second, although he doesn’t really count since he was nominated by...

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  • Obama ponders dictionary revisions

    President Obama to Sign Executive Order Regulating Dictionary Industry

    Obama recently announced a new piece of legislation, that will force organizations such as Merriam-Webster and Dictionary.com to comply with strict regulations, as mandated by the federal government.  The bill is expected to go into effect by the end of next week. President Obama held a...

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  • Robert Byrd Vows to Serve From Beyond the Grave

    Longest-Serving Senator Vows to Continue His Work

    Following his death this morning, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) released a statement assuring his constituents that he would continue to work on their behalf from beyond the grave. “Not even the Grim Reaper will keep me from funneling billions in federal tax dollars to my home state,”...

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