Are you a political nerd with a sense of humor that has way too much time on his or her hands and just so happens to be starved for attention and fame and thinks that you might find either writing for this website? Are you literate enough to recognize a run-on sentence when you...
Progressive rule has been, by all White House accounts, a resounding success. Despite this, Democrats are bracing for a very unforgiving election this November. How can this be, many in the party are asking themselves. The answer is simple. They just can not shake the stigma that the left is made up predominantly of...
In an age where we feel the need to classify everyone and everything, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is refreshingly different. Thurgood Marshall was the first black Supreme Court Justice. Clarence Thomas was the second, although he doesn’t really count since he was nominated by a Republican. Sonia Sotomayor was the first wise Latina...
Following his death this morning, Senator Robert Byrd (D-WV) released a statement assuring his constituents that he would continue to work on their behalf from beyond the grave. “Not even the Grim Reaper will keep me from funneling billions in federal tax dollars to my home state,” the respected former Klan member wrote in blood on...
A journey that was hindered by many setbacks, including golf outings and fundraisers, is finally over today as the one known as The One arrived on the shores of the Gulf of Mexico. Accompanied by his devoted press corp, Barack H. Obama greeted all with warm handshakes and arrogant smirks. The excitement here has...
Risking raids on our homes and offices (alright, it’s the same thing), knifework.net has been able to get our hands on the brand new portable device set to take the world by storm. We are talking, of course, about the iSlam. Sporting a sleek, compact design the iSlam fits easily in any Taliban-issue suicide...
Hordes of disgruntled Americans took to the streets yesterday, participating in Tea Party rallies across the nation. The aftermath has left progressives scratching their heads. “I just don’t get it,” mumbled political science professor Jim Hendrickson as he paced around his current place of employment, Starbucks. “Why did the Tea Party rallies get so...
My internet-fu is sometimes suspect, so I may be late to the party on this one. But if you have not yet seen these videos, you are missing what is quite possibly the most awesome thing on YouTube: Auto-tune the News. I think so, anyway. Here are a couple of samples, but I suggest...
Ticker tape, confetti and balloons irrevocably damaged the environment today as celebratory parades were held around to the world to honor U.S. President and baseball enthusiast Barack Obama. Mr. Obama has succeeded where all other non-deities have failed. He has achieved World Peace. Perhaps the only thing more astonishing than this grand accomplishment is the simplicity...
After days of being unfairly battered and maligned about comments he was tricked into saying by racist Tea Party terrorists, Rep. Phil Hare* of Illinois has gone on the offensive, lashing out at his detractors and putting his words back into context. “Look,” said a visibly shaken Hare. “I was nervous. I was...
Capping off his year long campaign against the United States of America, our great leader has finally seized his prize: America’s vast, untapped oil deposits. As most of his followers rejoice, there remain pockets of resistance. These fringe groups are undeniably made up largely of racists and homophobes. “I thought Obama was an environmentalist!,” shrieked Greenpeace director, Phil...
Much ado has been made over the RNC and Michael Steele spending thousands on limos, jets and strip clubs. But little has been said about the DNC’s expenditures. In an ongoing effort to provide grossly unfair and chemically imbalanced coverage, Knifework.net decided to look at the other side’s books. And what we found was frightening. $7,000 was...
Vice President and sometimes pretend Sheriff Joe Biden’s motorcade was involved in yet another accident today, bringing the total number of accidents his motorcade has been in to somewhere around 23. 14 people sustained various injuries, though their names were not released as they are liberals and no one cares. Biden was thought to have...
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