Tragedy struck the White House Thursday when Che, the goldfish of President Obama’s daughter Sasha, was reportedly found floating on its side at the top of it’s bowl by Secret Service during a routine security sweep. The official story from the White House is that Che perished from an untreated case of Chilodonella. Dr....
Facing difficulties retaining qualified personnel for his economic team, President Barack Hussein Obama today declared he was taking personal control over all economic decisions emanating from the White House. “As I have stated before, Islam has always been part of America and American Muslims have made extraordinary contributions to our country. However it is...
Atkins Nutritionals proudly announced today that it has successfully signed King Shamir Shabazz as it’s new spokesperson, winning the much publicized and very heated bidding war with the South Beach Diet Partnership. Currently serving as the head of the Philadelphia chapter of the New Black Panther Party, Shamir is famous for his vehement hatred...
In a shocking speech this afternoon, President Barack Obama announced that his stance on illegal immigration and the status of non-citizens in this country had reversed and “that he had no idea what he was thinking before.” According to his statement the following changes by the Federal Government take effect immediately: Formation of a...
Knifework.net learned today from it’s exclusive Hollywood contacts that President Obama has ordered last minute changes to the remake of the 80′s classic “The Karate Kid”. The original movie features the story of a young boy who through sacrifice, hard work, humility and knowledge overcomes not only his tormentors but his own fear. Once...
On Thursday Attorney General Eric Holder announced that criminal charges will be filed over the tragic spill that occurred 42 days ago in McKinney Texas. Holder and his crack team were lucky enough to be on the scene at Spoon’s Diner when James Friday, age 11, carelessly knocked over a large glass of milk...
Knifework.net was present today at the Board of Directors meeting for D.E.A.T.H (Dick’s Energy and Arms Trade Holdings) where the results of its recent “Operation Spring Awakening” were discussed. A massive plan involving the use of its chairperson Dick Cheney’s diving and detonation skills, propaganda, and strategic short selling via its securities division, Spring...
Today President Obama signed the $867 billion dollar Maritime Shipping Stabilization Act of 2010, a package of direct currency infusion, low-interest loans, infrastructure building, and military aid. Drafted and introduced in the House one month ago by Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA), the bill is designed to improve the living conditions of the Somali fisherman who have had to...
Today Hasbro unveiled it’s latest children’s board game, Steele Trap. It’s a fun and frolicking political romp that is sure to entertain children ages 8-13 as they learn about the crazy world of United States politics. Steele Trap has the players compete to see who can fill up their bus with voters first and...
With the recent retirement of Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens, speculation has been rampant as to who President Obama will nominate as his successor. Knifework.net has been lucky enough to glean information from insiders in the Obama administration and elsewhere and has prepared a list of those who appear to be the leading...
Just after the announcement of the TLC channel’s new eight-part miniseries called “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”, MSNBC today said it will air a similar series highlighting the wonderful aspects of life in Barack Obama’s home country of Kenya. The twenty-part miniseries will be produced by Michael Moore and each episode will be preceded with a...
In the wake of many contentious statements after the passage of comprehensive health care reform, especially those concerning the mandate that Americans be forced to purchase health insurance and a spate of lawsuits from state officials nationwide, knifework.net consulted renowned legal scholar Dr. Rana Twedle of Naples Community College in Naples, FL (Go Fightin’ Manatees!) to...
Knifework.net has found out that a popular children’s web game is actually a stealth recruiting tool aimed at recreating the success that the U.S. armed forces has had with America’s Army. According to our sources at the Department of Health and Human Services, funding for the game was approved in mid-2008 when it appeared...
Loading ...