Author Archive

Happy Birthday, Mr. President

Posted on August 8, 2010 | No Comments
On August 5th, 2010, the President of the United States, Barack Obama celebrated his 49th birthday. We think*. Because Mr. Obama is the leader of the free world, with virtually unlimited resources at his disposal, we were unsure at first of what to get him....
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PRESS RELEASE: Obama Administration clears itself of wrongdoing(s)

Posted on July 26, 2010 | No Comments
THE WHITE HOUSE Office of the Press Secretary _________________________________________________ FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Sunday , July 25, 2010, 10:35 pm Obama Administration clears itself of wrongdoing(s) President Obama today announces the results of multiple internal investigations being conducted by the White House. The President is pleased...
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Obama awards himself Medal of Courageous Restraint for handling of BP oil spill

Posted on May 28, 2010 | 4 Comments
In what appears to be a much needed pick-me-up in light of continuously sinking poll numbers, President Obama today awarded himself the first official Medal of Courageous Restraint for his valiant inaction in the face of the catastrophic BP oil spill off the coast of...
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Guam Jokes!

Posted on April 2, 2010 | 1 Comment
In honor of this shining moment in American exceptionalism: Fast Tube by Casper I bring you some Guam jokes. “Guam never tips, even when on the business end of a Chuck Norris round-house.” “Guam never tips. Sometimes it even ducks out on the bill.” “Guam...
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Obama Goes After the “Pussy-whipped” Demographic

Posted on March 4, 2010 | 2 Comments
In an apparent attempt to appeal to the overwhelmed house-husbands of America, President Barack Obama openly defied his doctor’s orders Tuesday by eating at an infamous southern restaurant, telling reporters, “I don’t want any lectures about my cholesterol. Don’t tell Michelle.” The President’s numbers have...
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