On August 5th, 2010, the President of the United States, Barack Obama celebrated his 49th birthday. We think*. Because Mr. Obama is the leader of the free world, with virtually unlimited resources at his disposal, we were unsure at first of what to get him. Initially, we recalled that the President is a family...
THE WHITE HOUSE Office of the Press Secretary _________________________________________________ FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE Sunday , July 25, 2010, 10:35 pm Obama Administration clears itself of wrongdoing(s) President Obama today announces the results of multiple internal investigations being conducted by the White House. The President is pleased to report that his track record as President remains...
In what appears to be a much needed pick-me-up in light of continuously sinking poll numbers, President Obama today awarded himself the first official Medal of Courageous Restraint for his valiant inaction in the face of the catastrophic BP oil spill off the coast of Louisiana. In an intimate ceremony, hastily organized immediately following...
In honor of this shining moment in American exceptionalism: I bring you some Guam jokes. “Guam never tips, even when on the business end of a Chuck Norris round-house.” “Guam never tips. Sometimes it even ducks out on the bill.” “Guam never tips, it just sticks its head into the ocean to hide...
In an apparent attempt to appeal to the overwhelmed house-husbands of America, President Barack Obama openly defied his doctor’s orders Tuesday by eating at an infamous southern restaurant, telling reporters, “I don’t want any lectures about my cholesterol. Don’t tell Michelle.” The President’s numbers have been in rapid decline ever since becoming President, and...
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