In an age where we feel the need to classify everyone and everything, Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is refreshingly different.
Thurgood Marshall was the first black Supreme Court Justice. Clarence Thomas was the second, although he doesn’t really count since he was nominated by a Republican. Sonia Sotomayor was the first wise Latina female Justice to ever grow up in the Bronx with a somewhat uncomfortable childhood.
Elena Kagan has proven to be none of these things. A genderless, forgettable, vapid blob of nothingness, Kagan’s eventual confirmation may end the Democrats’ lengthy tradition of elevating people based solely on their race, gender, creed, fashion sense, past campaign contributions, legal status, etc.
A refreshing change of pace
“To be completely honest for a change, I don’t know what Kagan is,” said an annoyed Arlen Specter (D-Penn). “Be it man, woman, or some kind of beast-hybrid, it certainly doesn’t seem to have a substantive thought in its head.”
While some were hoping President Obama would nominate a Justice to exclusively represent a specific segment of the population, Kagan is quickly becoming a champion to those that just do not matter anymore – like Rosie O’Donnell, Michael Moore, John Edwards and anyone who has ever won American Idol.
As Kagan’s confirmation hearing draws to a close, and we learn less and less about this individual, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that our next Supreme Court Justice will not be an artificially-pigmented transsexual banjo player from the upper Midwest.
Regardless of what it actually turns out to be.
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I am a pillar of my community, a defender of justice and a role model for small children. 
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I laughed, I cried…I threw up a little in my mouth.
Hey! I am offended by this post on the grounds that it is bigoted against … amorphous, ambiguous, blobs? I don’t know! I’ll think of SOME reason to be offended.
I’m sure it’s racist somehow.