Ask Amy: The Opinion

Dear Amy,

I’m writing to you on the recommendation of a friend. After doing a little research and discovering you weren’t Jewish, I decided to take her advice.

I was ambushed a couple of weeks ago by an evil rabbi who asked me what I thought of the Israel / Palestine conflict. I told him I believed the Jews should leave Palestine and go back to Germany and Poland where they belong – I was even nice about it!

Apparently, though, the people in this country are really uptight. I offer one tiny opinion, a few right wingers complain about it, and suddenly I’m out of the job I’ve held for decades. The White House even said I was wrong! Can you believe such persecution exists in the world?

Now people are saying I’m anti-Semitic, which is absolutely not true. Just because I don’t like Jewish people doesn’t mean I’m against them – as long as they live where I tell them to live and don’t talk to or try to approach me, we’ll get along just fine.

Anyway, can you help me understand what was so wrong about what I said?

Thanks for your help,

Helen T.

Dear Helen,

You’re absolutely correct that people can be unreasonable. It’s not like you said something truly offensive, like ‘abortion shouldn’t be legal’. You merely stated an opinion that is shared by much of the world.

I mean really, it would be different if the Jews had occupied the area for thousands of years. But since they totally haven’t, the logical choice for their relocation is Poland or Germany. Why would anyone be offended at being told to move to Germany, what with its delicious beer and rich history?

You must realize that some people are simply looking for reasons to be offended- you can’t go your entire life worrying about such things. Just remember that, in the end, the truly intelligent people see nothing wrong in what you said.

However, I’m not surprised by the White House’s condemnation of your statement. The current administration has worked extremely hard to forge a close relationship with Israel, after all. Besides, President Obama is well known for his diplomacy when it comes to foreign affairs. He would never do anything that might upset another country.

The real shame is that you had to give up your beloved job over these remarks. You were the epitome of what a journalist should be – truly one of the only unbiased reporters left in all of media.

Look on the bright side, though – now that you have all this free time, maybe you can do something really fun with your life. Why, I bet there’s an old house in the woods with your name on it – complete with an oven the perfect size for roasting small children!

Try to enjoy your retirement – and if I find any kids wandering about, I’ll be sure and send them your way!

Good luck,

Amy

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