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Got a little Socialism in you?
Today President Obama signed the $867 billion dollar Maritime Shipping Stabilization Act of 2010, a package of direct currency infusion, low-interest loans, infrastructure building, and military aid.  Drafted and introduced in the House one month ago by Rep. Hank Johnson (D-GA), the bill is designed to improve the living conditions of the Somali fisherman who have had to resort to piracy to survive and in recent weeks been unjustly attacked and killed by foreign military forces.
Upon signing the bill President Obama gave this impromptu speech to the assembled dignitaries:
“Let me be clear – We must now take further, decisive action to fundamentally and comprehensively address the root cause of this turmoil. And that root cause is the shipping correction which has resulted in illiquid martime-related assets that are choking off the flow of durable goods which is so vitally important to our economy. We must address this underlying problem, and restore confidence in our naval transportation market so it can perform their mission of supporting future prosperity and growth.
This  relief program has to be properly designed for immediate implementation is sufficiently large to have maximum impact and restore market confidence. It must also protect the taxpayer to the maximum extent possible, and include provisions that ensure transparency and oversight while also ensuring the program can be implemented quickly and run effectively.
We can no longer allow foreign intrusion in the affairs of my brothers in Somalia and it is vitally important that they be able to continue fishing to support their families and also functioning in their role of monitoring and screening all shipping traffic coming out of the port of Mombasa, Kenya, which I would like to repeat is not the place of my birth and I have nothing to hide there.”
While the bill was posted online for the requisite five minute review period that is standard White House protocol, knifework.net was able to glean a few of the provisions in it:
- $357 billion in US Dollars in $20 bills delivered in 4 shipping containers
- 400 DVD box sets of “The Deadliest Catch”
- 600 $5000 gift cards to Bass Pro Shops
- Subscriptions to Salt Water Sportsman Magazine
- $547 billion in low-interest loans from Fannie Mae
- Three new community centers and a US administered “Midnight Basketball” program
SPS Malak Al Mawt, formerly the USS John P Murtha
The most contentious inclusion in the bill is the turnover of the San Antonio class amphibious transport dock USS John P Murtha to the Somali fisherman, including its four CH-64 Sea Knight helicopters, 30mm Bushmaster cannon and point defense missile systems.
Pressed for an answer about this, Senator Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) explained that “It is unconscionable that because of the failed policies of the Bush administration these poor fisherman have been forced time and again to hijack or commandeer private vessels to use as mother ships for their smaller fishing boats. It may seen excessive to hand over a $3 billion US Naval ship designed to provide a stealthy and survivable platform for rapidly deploying teams of individuals over a wide area, but we felt it was important to show the people of the United States and the fisherman in Somalia that we have a firm commitment to helping them and are no longer following the failed policies of the Bush administration. The US giving non-national groups weapons isn’t without precedent, and has shown to decrease tension and violence in the  area.”
A statement released by the GAO shortly after the signing claimed that the bill would be “budget-neutral” Â due to the drop in losses to piracy, lower food costs because of new Somali fish imports, and greater economic activity at the chain of Bass Pro Shops stores nationwide.
This post is the best, I really get a kick out of posts like this.