The Case of the Missing Census Letter

Fancy technology, shifty peopleI heard on teh Interwebz that the Census Bureau had sent out letters telling citizens that the Census Bureau would be sending them Census forms.  I got no letter. Do I really need to explain how this made me feel?  The hurt, the embarrassment, the humiliation of not getting a letter?  It was awful.

How am I supposed to know when my Census form is going to get here, if I don’t get a letter?

Everyone else got one. It isn’t right!

It isn’t fair.

So I called the Census Bureau Chicago office to ask when I’d get my letter telling me when my Census form was coming.  Here is how that conversation went:

They referred me to the Springfield, IL office.

Bureaucracy!  It’s a Byzantine nightmare of functionaries, mandarins, and stone-faced clerks refusing to help a poor citizen, each in turn claiming it’s not their job.  No wonder there’s a deficit.

The anger was rising in me now. Others have calculated the cost to the government to mail out these letters, which I learned are called “Advance Letters”. Important as they are, alerting people that they will be receiving mail in the near future, that cost doesn’t matter to me. These are Constitutional matters. The future of the Republic hangs in the balance. Our town could lose parking meters.

But what about the cost to me? I don’t have a printing press or a Federal Reserve Magic Sliding Decimal Point Account. I’m having to spend my valuable time tracking down this stinking letter.

No wonder there are tea parties. No wonder the people don’t trust their government.

I called up the Springfield Office, and immediately got sent to Recruiting!  I didn’t want a job, I wanted to know when my Advance Letter was coming, so I would know when my Census form would be coming.

Then the nice, overburdened lady explained, as if for the thousanth time, that this was just a letter saying the Census form was on its way. That it didn’t matter that I didn’t get one….


Her words stung me like a frozen whip, and not the dessert kind.

What am I, not as important as the people who did get a letter?  Government arrogance, pure and simple. Well, arrogance and sloth.

I admit to losing my patience, and for that, I apologize.  When I’m dealing with important, Constitutionally mandated activities, my line is pretty taut already.  It doesn’t take much to set me off, I can tell you that.

In case readers want to know where their letters are, you may go to the site and call your regional office yourself.

Oh, by the way: contrary to the “About one week from now” stated in the Advance Letters, the Census forms are coming out April 1. Figures.

14 Responses to The Case of the Missing Census Letter

  • Roy says:

    Still trying to decorate my family tree.

  • L says:

    Odd, I got the letter telling me they were going to send me a letter, and a post card telling me I should have gotten a letter.

  • interesting take on the subject, count me as a new subscriber!

  • Shayne says:

    Glad to have you!

  • flinnie says:

    Actually I got a post card saying I should have got my census by now, then the actual census, and then the letter stating they would be sending one. now that’s a well run gov’t agency!

  • Cody Gomey says:

    I have read over quite a few of your current entries and I was thinking about if you wanted to swap webpage links? I am continually looking to swap links with websites on related subjects! I look forward to hearing back from you quickly.

  • Hello dear, as a rule I never comment on personal sites however today I am afraid I must do it. The other day I took the decision to install the newest version of the Apple Safari Internet browser and this Internet blog doesn’t load properly anymore. The header overlaps part of the text and I can’t see it. I had a similar problem with my herbal incense reviews Internet blog and I was able to fix it by editing the CSS code. Can you please fix it? Thanks! Sorry for my English, it’s obviously not my native language. I’m from Sweden :)

  • Amazing site :) great content, fun to read.. Hopefully you keep your blog updated so people like me can be back and read some more!!

  • We are a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your site offered us with valuable information to work on. You’ve done a formidable job and our entire community is going to be thankful to you.

  • Hey there! I’m at work browsing your blog from my new iphone 4! Just wanted to say I love reading your blog and look forward to all your posts! Carry on the fantastic work!

  • newbies. Could you please extend them a bit from subsequent time? Thank you for the post.

  • Would partiality to interpret furthermore too¡­Thanks seeking great record!Not long ago, I did not hand over a a heap of examination to giving comments on milieu paginate articles and entertain positioned comments rhythmical less.

  • Breanna says:

    depending mainly on sending the customary one-content-fits-all
    letter to. In this way you can promote a specific campaign to a smaller niche market without everyone else seeing it.

    Don’t make comments that are irrelevant or off topic.

  • Check Out says:

    Keep functioning ,fantastic job!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Enter your email address to subscribe to Knifework.Net and receive notifications of new posts.