The Sordid Relationship of Eric Massa And Rahm Emanuel
“Let me tell you a story about Rahm Emanuel. I was a congressman in my first eight weeks, and I was in the congressional gym, and I went down and I worked out and I went into the showers…I’m sitting there showering, naked as a jaybird and here comes Rahm Emanuel not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me because I wasn’t going to vote for the president’s budget. Do you know how awkward it is to have a political argument with a naked man?”
Understandably, this incident deeply scarred the alleged sexual deviant, Massa. And knifework.net has decided to report other such incidents that may or may not be true:
- In a closed door meeting about some appropriations bill, Emanuel apparently stroked Massa’s inner thigh tenderly while daring him not to include an amendment that would send $34,000 to a struggling bee farm in Kansas.
- After a speaking engagement at a small elementary school in upstate NY, Eric Massa was on his way to the cafeteria for a pudding snack when Rahm Emanuel inexplicably appeared in a London Fog trench-coat.
- And at a fundraising luncheon that Massa had to excuse himself from due to a mild case of the runs, the congressman had to forcibly (and hurriedly) push his way past an agitated Emanuel who was verbally berating him while gesturing furiously with a dozen red roses and a sex toy.
Upon being informed of this behavior, House Financial Services Committee Chairperson Barney Frank vowed to to launch an extensive probe into the extracurricular activities of President Obama’s Chief of Staff by pretending to switch to a “no” vote on healthcare legislation.