Obama Goes After the “Pussy-whipped” Demographic

In an apparent attempt to appeal to the overwhelmed house-husbands of America, President Barack Obama openly defied his doctor’s orders Tuesday by eating at an infamous southern restaurant, telling reporters, “I don’t want any lectures about my cholesterol. Don’t tell Michelle.”

I don't just wear the pants, I beat the pants into submission.

The President’s numbers have been in rapid decline ever since becoming President, and he is desperate to find bright spots among likely voters.  It seems the demographic he identifies with the most is men aged eighteen to eighty trapped in marriages with overbearing women.

Could the President be taking the advice of leading Republicans to heart? When asked if Obama was trying to boost his numbers one demographic at a time instead of with a broad, sweeping outreach to the entire nation, Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said simply, “Don’t tell Mitch McConnell.”