HHS Using Web Game to Recruit New Surgeons

Knifework.net has found out that a popular children’s web game is actually a stealth recruiting tool aimed at recreating the success that the U.S. armed forces has had with America’s Army.

According to our sources at the Department of Health and Human Services, funding for the game was approved in mid-2008 when it appeared that Barack Obama would be the next President of the United States.  Fearful of a shortage of surgeons in the U.S. after the passage of health care reform, programmers at Adult Swim games were tasked with making the most realistic simulation of post-2012 surgery possible.

A memo leaked from HHS shows that administrators were aware that proposed new provisions for surgeons, such as an 80-hour work week and pay capped at $30,000 a year, were known about as early as August of 2008.

A knifework.net analysis of the game reveals the stark realism of the simulation with children learning to operate with the actual surgical tools used in other countries with socialized medicine. Things such as a pizza cutter, salad tongs, stapler, cigarette lighter, and corkscrew.  The only obvious flaw in the game is the presence of working anesthesia.

An informal survey of 8-12 year olds indicated that after playing that game many of them planned on becoming surgeons, but a large contingent were waiting on the sequel “Outdoors Obstetrician”.