White House To End Self-Imposed Media Blackout
Republicans across the country hailed a move by the White House to end its self-imposed media blackout. An administration press secretary close to the issue made the announcement off the record in response to widespread Tea Party disappointment with the President.
“The President only made 411 speeches in his first year,” said Isa Thugge, speaking for the non-partisan group Organizing For America. “We think he can double that, but it’s going to take a little less hostility from the media. A little programming advice: when he calls a joint session of Congress, we don’t want any CSI reruns on competing with that, got it?”
Rank-and-file Democrats meanwhile were disappointed after learning that the White House Communications Office would step up its messaging for the 2010 elections. “We were kinda hoping they’d continue boycotting the media as they have during their first year,” said Kilda Pope (D-CA), a second-term Los Angeles Congressperson and part-time Wiccan priestess. “We’ll have to get our entrail reader together with his to schedule this. Maybe we can have him speak when the Celtics are in town, or maybe during an earthquake.”
Ecstatic Republicans rejoiced that Mr. Obama would be speaking out more. “Whenever he talks,” said Republican strategist J. Harcourt Beauregard, “our numbers go up, up, and up! We thought we were going to have to have to campaign, maybe even advertise. This is better.”
Not all Republicans were as happy. Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina feared the Obama message machine might focus on immigration, a key issue for him. “Look here, our party already has 41 seats in the United States Senate. If he comes out for comprehensive immigration reform, government health insurance, and keeps talking green, we may gain more, even win the majority. And if that happens, it’s doubtful that we will pass any of his agenda. This is really scary.”