Tea Party Activists Demand More From President

Tea Party activists nationwide are disappointed with President Barack Obama’s first year in office, and are demanding a better second year.

Organizer Jane Lastkall of the Vermouth, Wisconsin Tea Party group said, “He starts all of his speeches off with a history lesson, but then chases off talking about economic growth or national defense. We want more teaching.”

Indeed, speech analysis experts from the Department of Homeland Security Speech Research Office have concluded that Mr. Obama often spends less than 80% of a given speech informing his audience of the flaws manifested by American history, culture, and institutions.

“It’s like he’s teasing us, not letting us know what the country is really like,” Lastkall said.

A White House spokesman who declined to be indentified said, “I’m Robert Gibbs, and I believe Mr Obama has made it clear that he’s spent several minutes thinking about American history, and signed up for a class on it in college.”

Given that solid background, how much of Mr. Obama’s history lesson shortfall is really his fault, and how much is he judging the ability of his audience to comprehend even the simplest of topics? Kanye Herme, Vice President of Marketing for the Council on Foreign Relations, a shadowy Washington group specializing in world domination, said Obama is performing exactly as he should. “Let me just say he totally deserved that Peace Prize over that stupid Iranian girl the protesters killed. But in his first year, the groundwork he’s laying for his first few terms is about what you’d want. Given the history he inherited, that’s unprecedented, I think. ”

Mr. Obama took office immediately after his predecessor, George W. Bush, who only served two terms.

Still, Lastkall is unconvinced. “Long-term planning is fine, but I’m sure he knows more than he’s letting on. That shy reluctance to speak about himself is really going to hurt him in the long run. If only he could give a couple of speeches that were history lessons from start to finish, I think we could drop this whole Tea Party thing altogether.”

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