Michelle Obama Undertakes Bold Campaign Against Obesity, Encounters Uphill Battle

Michelle Obama is actively trying to convince Americans to get a handle on overweight children, but remains unable to wrap her arms around her husband’s overblown ego.

You're going to eat your vegetables, asshole.

“It is very trying,” the First Lady tells Knifework News. “His obese psyche is really getting out of control. I have tried to put Barack on a healthy diet of economic reports, Gitmo prisoner lists and derailed healthcare legislation, but all he ever wants to eat are the polling data Rahm brings over.”

Other foods that are a favorite of the President include pork, small businesses and taxpayer money.

Mrs. Obama has good cause to worry. Corpulent Ego is a very dire condition that can lead to, among other things, a one-term presidency and an ill-advised sex tape.

“Oh, God!,” exclaimed Mrs. Obama. “Sometimes I think Barry is even worse than John Edwards!”

The First Lady relayed to us that her husband-in-chief once got his head stuck in the bathroom door. According to her, he had stood in front of the mirror for around two hours “practicing that self-righteous smirk of his.” It required 8 Secret Service agents and a carpenter to free him.

The President’s giant ego is understandably taking a toll on the family. At one point during our interview, Mrs. Obama buried her face in her hands and burst into tears.

“Millions of children suffer from obesity,” she said between ragged sobs. “But every single person on the planet is suffering because of my husband’s fat head.”

One Response to Michelle Obama Undertakes Bold Campaign Against Obesity, Encounters Uphill Battle

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

Enter your email address to subscribe to Knifework.Net and receive notifications of new posts.